- 8
- Ideal Solitude
In the //Sutta Nipata// we find a discourse by the Buddha entitled
"The Rhinoceros Horn" in which he compares the one horn of the rhinoceros with
the sage's solitude. The Buddha praises being alone and the refrain to every stanza of the
sutta is: "One should wander solitary as a rhinoceros horn." (//K.R. Norman
transl. P.T.S.//)
There are two kinds of solitude, that of the mind (//citta- viveka//)
and that of the body (//kaya-viveka//). Everyone is familiar with solitude of the body. We
go away and sit by ourselves in a room or cave or tell the people we are living with, that
we want to be left alone. People usually like that sort of solitude for short periods. If
this aloneness is maintained, it is often due to people not being able to get along with
others or being afraid of them because there isn't enough love in their own hearts. Often
there may be a feeling of loneliness, which is detrimental to solitude. Loneliness is a
negative state of mind in which one feels bereft of companionship.
When one lives in a family or community, it is sometimes difficult to
find physical solitude, it's not even very practical. But physical solitude is not the
only kind of aloneness there is. Mental solitude is an important factor for practice.
Unless one is able to arouse mental solitude in oneself, one will not be able to be
introspective, to find out what changes in oneself are necessary.
Mental solitude means first and foremost not to be dependent on others
for approval, for companionable talk, for a relationship. It doesn't mean that one becomes
unfriendly towards others, just that one is mentally independent. If another person is
kind to us, well and good. If that isn't the case, that's fine too, and makes no
difference.
The horn of a rhinoceros is straight and solid and so strong that we
can't bend it. Can our minds be like that? Mental solitude cuts out idle chatter, which is
detrimental to spiritual growth. Talking about nothing at all, just letting off steam.
When we let the steam go from a pot, we can't cook the food. Our practice can be likened
to putting the heat on oneself. If we let off steam again and again, that inner process is
stopped. It's much better to let the steam accumulate and find out what is cooking. That
is the most important work we can do.
Everybody should have occasion each day to be on her own physically for
some time, so that we can really feel alone, totally by ourselves. Sometimes we may think:
"People are talking about me." That doesn't matter, we are the owners of our own
kamma. If somebody talks about us, it's their kamma. If we get upset, that's our kamma.
Getting interested in what is being said is enough to show that we are dependent on
people's approval. Who's approving of whom? Maybe the five //khandha// (body, feeling,
perception, mental formations and consciousness) are approving. Or possibly the hair of
the head, the hair of the body, nails, teeth and skin? Which "self" is
approving, the good one, the bad one, the mediocre one, or maybe the non-self?
Unless one can find a feeling of solidity in oneself, from the centre,
where there is no movement, one is always going to feel insecure. Nobody can be liked by
everyone, not even the Buddha. Because we have defilements, we are always on the lookout
for everybody else's pollutions. None of that matters, it's all totally unimportant. The
only thing that is significant is to be mindful; totally attentive to each step on the
way, to what one is doing, feeling, thinking. It's so easy to forget this. There's always
somebody with whom to talk or another cup of tea to be had. That's how the world lives and
the inhabitants are mostly unhappy. But the Buddha's path leads out of the world to
independent happiness.
Letting off steam, idle chatter and looking for companionship are the
wrong things to do. Trying to find out what people are thinking about one, is immaterial
and irrelevant and has nothing to do with the spiritual path. Solitude in the mind means
that one can be alone in the midst of the crowd. Even in a large and agitated crowd of
people, one would still be able to operate from one's own centre, giving out love and
compassion, and not being influenced by what is happening around one.
That can be called ideal solitude and means one has removed oneself
from the future and past, which is necessary in order to stand straight and alone. If one
is attached to the future, then there is worry, and if one is hankering for the past,
there is either desire or rejection. That is the constant chatter of the mind, not
conducive to mental solitude.
Solitude can only be fully experienced when there is inner peace.
Otherwise loneliness pushes one to try and remedy a feeling of emptiness and loss.
"Where is everybody? What can I do without some companionship? I must discuss my
problems." Mindfulness is able to take care of all that because it has to arise in
the present moment and has nothing to do with future and past. It keeps one totally
occupied and saves one from making mistakes, which are natural to human beings. But the
greater the mindfulness, the fewer mistakes. Errors on the mundane level also have
repercussions on the supermundane path, because they are due to a lack of mindfulness,
which will not allow us to get past our self-inflicted //dukkha//. We will try again and
again to find someone who is to blame or someone who can distract us.
Ideal solitude arises when a person can be alone or with others and
remain of one piece, not getting caught in someone else's difficulties. We may respond in
an appropriate manner, but we are not affected. We all have our own inner life and we only
get to know it well when the mind stops chattering and we can attend to our inner
feelings. Once we have seen what is happening inside of us, we will want to change it.
Only the fully Enlightened One (//Arahant//) has an inner life which needs no changing.
Our inner stress and lack of peace push us outward to find someone who will remove a
moment of //dukkha//, but only we, ourselves, can do it.
Solitude may be physical, but that's not its main function. The
solitary mind is one which can have profound and original thoughts. A dependent mind
thinks in cliches, the way everybody else does, because it wants approval. Such a mind
understands on a surface level, just like the world does, and cannot grasp the profundity
and depth of the Buddha's teaching. The solitary mind is at ease because it is unaffected.
It's interesting that a mind at ease, which can stand on its own, also
can memorize. Because such a mind is not filled with the desire to remove //dukkha//, it
can remember without much trouble. This is one of its side benefits. The main value of a
solitary mind is its imperturbability. It can't be shaken and will stand without support,
just as a strong tree doesn't need a prop. Because it's powerful in its own right. If the
mind doesn't have enough vigour to stand on its own, it won't have the strength and
determination to fulfil the Dhamma.
Our practice includes being on our own some time each day to introspect
and contemplate. Reading, talking and listening are all communication with others, which
are necessary at times. But it is essential to have time for self-inquiry: "What is
happening within me? What am I feeling? Is it wholesome or not? Am I perfectly contented
on my own? How much self-concern is there? Is the Dhamma my guide or am I
bewildered?" If there's a fog in one's mind, all we need is a searchlight to
penetrate it. The searchlight is concentration.
Health, wealth and youth do not mean no //dukkha//. They are a
cover-up. Ill-health, poverty and old age make it easier to realize the unsatisfactoriness
of our existence. When we are alone, that is the time to get to know ourselves. We can
investigate the meaning of the Dhamma we've heard and whether we can actualize it in our
own lives. We can use those aspects of the Dhamma which are most meaningful for us.
The solitary mind is a strong mind, because it knows how to stand
still. That doesn't mean not associating with people at all, that would lack
loving-kindness (//metta//). A solitary mind is able to be alone and introspect and also
be loving towards others. Living in a Dhamma community is an ideal place to practice this.
Meditation is the means for concentration, which is the tool to break
through the fog enveloping everyone who is not an //Arahant//. At times, in communal
living, there is togetherness and lovingness and service. These should be the results of
//metta// not of trying to get away from //dukkha//. Next time we start a conversation,
let's first investigate: "Why am I having this discussion? Is it necessary, or am I
bored and want to get away from my problems."
Clear comprehension is the mental factor which joins with mindfulness
to give purpose and direction. We examine whether our speech and actions are having the
right purpose, whether we are using skilful means and whether the initial purpose has been
accomplished. If we have no clear-cut direction, idle chatter results. Even in meditation
the mind does it, which is due to lack of training. When we practice clear comprehension,
we need to stop a moment and examine the whole situation before plunging in. This may
become one of our skillful habits, not often found in the world.
An important aspect of the Buddha's teaching is the combination of
clear comprehension with mindfulness. The Buddha often recommends them as the way out of
all sorrow, and we need to practice them in our small every-day efforts. These may consist
of learning something new, a Dhamma sentence remembered, one line of chanting memorized,
one new insight about oneself, one aspect of reality realized. Such a mind gains strength
and self-confidence.
Renunciation is the greatest help in gaining self-confidence. One knows
one can get along without practically everything, for instance food, for quite some time.
Once the Buddha went to a village where nobody had any faith in him. He received no
alms-food at all, nobody in the village paid any attention to him. He went to the
outskirts and sat down on a bit of straw and meditated. Another ascetic came by who had
seen that the Buddha had not received any food and commiserated with him: "You must
be feeling very badly not having anything to eat. I'm very sorry. You don't even have a
nice place to sleep, just straw." The Buddha replied: "Feeders on joy we are.
Inner joy can feed us for many days."
One can get along without many things when they are voluntarily given
up. If someone takes our belongings, we resist, which is //dukkha//. But when we practice
self-denial, we gain strength and enable the mind to stand on its own. Self-confidence
arises and creates a really strong back-bone. Renunciation of companionship shows us
whether we are self-sufficient.
The Buddha did not advocate exaggerated and harmful ascetic practices.
but we could give up -- for instance -- afternoon conversations and contemplate instead.
Afterwards the mind feels contented with its own efforts. The more effort one can make,
the more satisfaction arises.
We need a solitary mind in meditation, so we need to practice it some
time during each day. The secluded mind has two attributes; one is mindfulness, full
attention and clear comprehension and the other is introspection and contemplation. Both
of them bring the mind to unification. Only in togetherness lies strength; unification
brings power.